joshua of the wired (gu88766) wrote in oaf,
joshua of the wired

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some vacant situation

its a story i wrote a while ago...
but havnt shown anyone. except jay.
and brian... its kinda vonnegut.

“Are you sure that you want to come to our island?”

The voice was the first audible landmark of existence since they had fallen into the ocean. Excitement would be appropriate, but now they were faced with a decision.

“Our clothes are much too dry and unfashionable.”

Jonathan was soaking, still submerged in the salty ocean. The strange voices offering of awkward clothing could not have been more attractive. The cold salty ocean water rendered the trio indecisive.

“Whose voice is that?” Jonathan demanded of his savior.

“It is my voice.”

(And it was my voice.)

A frail naked man pulled the refugees from the sea and explained to them how the natives had eaten his clothing. He introduced himself as Nathaniel. His name is Nathaniel, as mine is, also. But I am not that frail naked man on the shore. He is I.

“You wouldn’t happen to have a blow dryer?” Jonathan asked Nathaniel, holding up the Cat for everyone to see. And everyone looks.

Nathaniel did not have a blow dryer. Or dry clothes for that matter. But if he did have clothes, they would be much too dry. So Nathaniel could not help them. But Heyzeus had sunglasses. It was a godsend. Heyzeus had been on his way to the Sex Place when he heard the commotion by the ocean and decided to investigate. A friendship was born. Jonathan and Bill went with Heyzeus

Once the others were out of sight, over the hill, and off the edge of the horizon, Nathaniel and Wilco went to town. Goat Town: where rural beasts meet the urban lifestyle. And Wilco built a bar, cleverly titled The Goat Joke. It was as sophisticated as it was anticipated. The goats were pleased.

Jonathan and Heyzeus came with the cat shortly after the Grand opening. It was dark, but the cat persisted on wearing sunglasses. He did as he wished. Everyone did as they wished.

The Great Spirit grew confused. This is how the universe collapsed once before. It was there. It wasn’t my fault, but I was present. The Great Spirit had grown very confused by the dreams of a mere mouse.

Mice are much wiser than cows.

The Great Spirit was confused, but the universe did not collapse. This was a good thing, because a collapsing universe is usually a messy universe. And Wilco was having enough trouble cleaning up his simple island bar.

The Great Spirit grew anger from his confusion. (The Great Spirit was out of work and had a lot of time on his hands. Time for pampering a full garden of anger.)

There was a Great War that lasted for eight minutes. Then someone uttered the infamous words: I give up. You win.

That stupid eagle makes everything so complicated. He wasn’t the one to utter the infamous words, but he is responsible for making the world so complicated.
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